Hello my dear friends,
While I had a fabulous beautiful post planned for today, with my heart so heavy I feel I must wait to share it and instead share with all of you what is in my heart right now.
Last night with very little warning I had to put the pug love of my life to rest.I got Pebbles when she was just a tiny puppy about 6 weeks old. My son who is now 24 was just 9 at the time. She was this teeny tiny scared little pug. She was shaking and when I held her she nestled her head into my neck and went to sleep and stopped shaking. It was then that I new I had to have her.
I was a single mom at the time and so she slept with me in my bed. She loved to be snuggled, held and have my arms wrapped around her under the covers. She was what I needed and I was what she needed. I took her everywhere with me, I carried her like a baby she would rest her head on my shoulder and was so content to be in my arms. When I shopped I could carry her like that with on hand and shop as if she were a baby because she actually held onto me with her paws. When someone else would try to take her from me to hold her she would pull back towards me and grip on with her paws to my shoulder and make this noise like a kid if anyone took her out of my arms. She was 110% my baby.
Yesterday morning when I got her up she was not acting herself and as the day went on she got progressively worse. By evening when I took her out she could barely walk.
We brought her to the vets and after blood tests, X-rays and an ultrasound, they found that she had a tumor in her stomach that had started to bleed. It was inoperable, even if she was strong enough to operate on, which she wasn’t because it was also attached to her kidneys and well she couldn’t live without at least one kidney.
She always had these crazy sleeping habits – sleeping with her head hanging out of her beds lol. She was such a silly pug.
By 10pm last night we made the decision to let her go. I held her for almost 2 hours at the vet crying, hugging her, loving her one final time. Letting her go and saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. But she was fading in my arms, too weak to even hold her head up. I held her while she took her last breath and loved her to her last moment on this earth with me. She was almost 16 yrs old and I know I have been blessed to have her in my heart and my life. But tonight for one night I am having a moment of sadness for myself. A moment of why me, why did I have to lose her when I’ve had so much lost in the past year and a half.
She was my shadow and followed me around the house with every step I took. So everywhere I look I see her missing.
My other 2 pugs are also lost without her. She was the leader of the pack and they have been wandering around the house all day at a loss of what to do.
This is how Pebbles always was with my Son, Elias. Kissing him every second she could. She would stretch her head up as far as she could to give him licks. lol
It’s been a hard couple days for me and my family. It’s just been so shocking because she just never showed any signs of being sick.
I will be back tomorrow with more on our Empowerment cards and some inspiration for them. As well as sharing what I’m doing and the ones I’ve created.
But tonight, tonight I just need to hug my other pugs and cry for a bit, because my home will not be the same with out my Pebbles.
xxoo – Sherry